In Thr Midst of The Street Children

While I was walking along Colon street, something suddenly caught my attention. As I turned around, I saw two children in worn out clothes tugging my shirt, begging. But since what I have then was just enough money for my fare going home, I shook my head and so they left.

That was just one of my few encounters with the indigent children who were compelled to be drawn far too away from their comfort zones into the streets. Yes, street children are now common sight in our urban societies. You see them in conspicuous places where they situate themselves as puny beggars with ragged look, arousing pity from strangers passing by. But as beggars, they would have to swarm some jeeps and vehicles which come to halt, asking alms. Their gaunt appearance is highly an evident of less nourishment they get but still they endure the scorching heat of the sun at daytime and the chills a night. They would be on high hopes of getting income from the usual sampaguitas, candies, and rags they sell as they plod the streets.

Poverty has deprived these children of the greatest privilege they ought to have the most…education. It is in every child’s dream to me in a scholastic atmosphere of learning wherein he submits himself/herself to a teacher. But for these street children, instead of studying at schools and getting busy with assignments and lessons, they wander around crossing the streets with high risks of meeting accidents by passing vehicles.

In the eyes of onlookers, these children appeared like some flies or dogs in their midst. They simply shoo them away, disgust at the sight of their untidy looks.

Life in the streets arises from social and economic reasons. There are children and juveniles who opt to live in the streets to stay away from the violence and lack of attention from their families. But poverty tops most the majority or reasons why these kids abound in the streets. In some reports, the unjust economic policies, high debt of the state, corruption and low prices of the world market for export goods contribute much to the impoverishment of the masses.

In worst scenarios, you would see them resorting to “sniffing rugby or paint thinners” just to suppress the hunger they feel every moment. Not only that, in such cases they face the danger of falling victims of illegal drugs, crimes, sexual exploitation and other abuses. However, not only they have become victims but also, they have too have turned out to be perpetrators themselves. Some join gangs and turn tom crimes like petty thefts.

Life in the streets was not the king of fate meant for these children. But what can they do when it is the only choice they got in order for them and their family to survive. They should belong to where they could develop the total aspect of their growth, a place away from the perils of the streets where begging and vending will not be anymore their problem

But above all the difficulties they have been through, you can still see their innocent radiant smiles and laughter in the face of poverty, the clear marks of the childhood that have remained in them.

Variety: A Spice No More

Sitting next to each other in the sand, he reached for your hand. You looked into his eyes- amber amidst the setting sun. Time stopped as he drew closer… and closer… then gone! You realize you’re daydreaming again.
I have a word for that: the fairytale syndrome. Being innately hopeless romantics, we easily fall in love with the thought of falling in love. We have varied visions of how we’re going to meet our one true love, easily getting blurry-eyed at the thought of all those jittery, mushy stuffs we have in our mind right now. Thumbing through our old fairytale books would give us an idea of how far our illusions had gone. Consider also counting all those movies devoted to romantic love and all its whims, you’ll get what I me

Friends, love does not need to be a fairytale so you could call it love. There is no such thing as soulmate unless you fit yourself to be one. Nor could you just sit in one corner and wait for The One to find you. For all you know, the very person who could have made your life complete had already passed your way and you completely missed out on it because you were too stubborn not to conform to what’s typical. Especially in a society where any kind of infidelity is quickly frowned upon, you have to have good reasons not to conform-or else...

It has been a century-old argument whether or not a person must solely commit himself/herself to a dating partner and I dare say NO! Dating is one thing and a committed relationship is another. What is dating in the first place and what makes it any different from a serious commitment? The very context of dating is to get to know people. On the book “Boundaries of Dating”, the author wrote that dating allows one to learn about themselves, others and relationships in a safe context-meaning without the risk of cursed marriages. What have you got to lose? There’s no commitment at risk and no vows to break. If the couple have decided to tie the knot, only there could you demand of commitment and of fidelity. Thats what sets apart the married from the single.

Others may see it as widening their options but if you see a lot of fishes in the sea, why not? It would be hypocrite for us to deny the obvious! Dating has value in and of itself. It allows us to discover exactly what we’re looking for in a relationship before we actually say “I do”. We only get one shot at life and at marriage, don’t we get to have the right to carefully choose what and who’s best for us before we’d actually take the plunge? I personally would rather have multiple dating partners now while I’m still single rather than having many ex-husbands later on. Playing the fields and exploring on your options may not please the prudent, neither would they be able to give you a Nobel Prize for playing modest.

Variety, for your information ladies and gentlemen, is not just there to spice up our terribly boooring lives. It exists to tell us that in life, despite its uncertainties, we have a choice. Relish everything that variety brings to your table so that when time comes that you’re ready to choose, you are sure that your choice would fill your brim.

I Give Life

I am hurt. I am abused and for me, it is injustice. I do believe I deserve care. Why are you doing this to me?

I stand here in this corner quietly all through the day. You need me that is for sure. But you step on me, kick me and spit on me. Like as if it is my fault when thee is drought in my system. You even sometimes shout at me or scold me though you know I could not answer you and as if could not answer you and as if you could hear you in the first place, just for the freedom of expression. Is this what I get for being a drinking fountain?

Here comes this spiky haired, pale guy wearing dark glasses. For goodness’ sake, it’s cloudy outside. I suspect he’s been into running from the ground floor because he is catching his breath. The second bell is going to ring soon. He reaches for the pedal but unfortunately my bubbler head has not spit water these past few days. My fellows form the other floors may have water but they might as well get hit for letting out “hot water: because the refrigeration system is malfunctioning.

Sometimes my water running without even having to step on the pedal but when drinkers do, I could let my water out in the same projectile fashion as before.

Ouch! I get a kick again, I just wish my internal parts are still in tact. Since this morning, this has been probably the 20^th kick I got. Am I the one to be blamed if my maintenance and repair are not given attention yet? Well, my manufacturer do check my condition here upon the request of the Campus Planning and Site Development Office or when I needed to be fixed. The problem is, that does not happen very often. Tsk tsk tsk….. Doesn’t this spike guy realize that he’s adding insult to the injury? If he does this regularly, sooner or later I might break down eternally and give up. Or is that what he wants? To get rid of me and new models of drinking fountains might come. Is he not anymore satisfied of me? Don’t I quench his thirst anymore?

Now, a tall gentleman wearing a huge silver earring approaches me and before he bends to turn me on, he sticks gum on the surface of my tarnished sink. I could not get the logic of doing that! It would only drive other drinkers away and give the impression that everyone and everything in this school is dirty. Does he like that? There are many trash cans standing on different parts of the campus and I certainly do not like one. Or is it hard for him to determine where to throw the gum, in the red or yellow garbage container?

And please, I give drinking water, it is definitely not proper to spit sticky, green phlegm on me. “Yaaak!!! The ladies would shout when they get near me. Do you like it when you see the slimy thing while you open your mouth drinking? Comfort room sinks or toilet bowls won’t be clogged if you do the spitting there, just be sure to flush it away because it’s really gross!

Such a nag if I know how to talk, ei? I hope I do not sound like your mothers. It is just that I am still here after 48 year(not literally) and I can still be of use though I have depreciated and have become rusty. If given a chance I would still be an efficient drinking fountain anymore, it would depend on how you treat me here. Please do not neglect me. And if that times comes that my role ends, I shall give way to the new generation. After all, I am just rented.

Letting Go

Have you ever been in love? I suppose the answer is “Certainly!”. Isn't great to in a relationship with someone who sweeps your heart away? Just thinking about it makes me smile, how mush more in the real thing? But little do we know that along with this great and exciting feeling comes pain and misery. We must learn that life isn't only about happiness. God often put trials along our paths to challenge our faith and see how strong the bond of our relationship.

When you’re in love, there are risks involved such as how to maintain a strong and happy relationship, how to keep the passi8on alive and how to sustain love against all odds. But when worse comes to worst, we can no longer feel enough love for our partners. We have no choice left but to end the relationship through break ups. Most relationship fall not because of the absence of love. Lo9ve is always present, it's just that, one love too much and the other loves to many. There's always a possibility that a person can get attracted to another. It's human nature. It's not wrong. But that’s why we are in a recommitment. We must learn to control our emotions.

Breaking up with someone is never easy at all. Especially when you've shared a bond strengthen by time. If you read newspapers daily, then you are familiar with news stories about suicidal cases, on one common reason...having been left behind by someone he/she truly loves. As much as possible before entering a relationship be sure you are willing to work things out and most importantly be sure when you court or accept a suitor you love him/her. Don't take this as a game. When you hurt someone, it's not just the knee that gets hurt, it's the heart. Though we really can't say which one will last. So, when the situation demands it be careful in breaking your lovers heart/in heart breaks, do not be guilty if you're telling him/her the truth. Even if the truth hurt, you have to spill it out. You should be guilty when you broke up. Don't leave your ex hanging in thin air. Give him/her the answers to their question. This will make things clearer and help them understand the situation before actual parting of ways happen. It's never easy to tell someone that you want to dump her/him. We, girls prefer to hear a man's parting words gently but directly. Of course it does hurt, but it's lesser compared to a guy who tells his parting words frankly. Some relationships just end because one fell out of love for certain reasons but not because of another person. Do not say you're sorry unless you are guilty of polygamy. Sorry is a negative word. When you say this, he/she might think, “I've never been a good lover because he's sorry”. Sorry could mean a lot of things too. It could mean, “I'm sorry I met you”, “I'm sorry I wasted time on you” or “I'm sorry for I never loved you”. The most effective words to say is “thank you”. Express your gratitude to that person. After all, he/she made you happy.

Some people usually end their relati0onship through text messages or letters. That’s a major no no! Cowardice is the best description for someone who breaks up through letters, phone calls or text messages. Think of this, when you courted her, did you do it in the traditional way? Like, you gave flowers, cards and fetch her in school or walk her home? If so, why do you have to break up with him/her through letters when you had the courage to court him/her in person at the very start of the relationship?

After a break up means moving on, it’s never easy. We can’t blame anybody or somebody for the things that is beyond what we expected. We can never change destiny…that you two aren’t meant to be. If we lose love, we lose it for a reason. That reason maybe hard to understand but whatever it is, we just have to believe that God takes away when he has something better to give. What’s hard a bout letting go is the thought that once upon a time there was us.

Blind Vision

I can’t resist gazing at the stars every night and admire them. It would take me a minute or two to be staring at the sky. Stars are too many that it’s ridiculous to count them one by one. But there are still a few that shine the brightest. At times, I would ask myself of beauty is certainly hard to reach like those stars. : How lucky can one person be if he or she is beautiful” I’d remark.

Why is our world so hung up on appearances that sometimes we judge a person right away based on the way he looks? Why do we not bother finding out on what they’re really about? Why do we raise our noses when we pass by someone who is dressed wrong and different from us? Make foul comments like: “…thank God, I don’t look like him.” Why are we so insecure about ourselves that we have to make an outcast of anyone who is different?

God does not judge by outward appearance; He looks at the heart. Why can’t we learn the same thing?

It seems so unreasonable that people will avoid some guy because he is so tall or too skinny or too short or not muscular enough. But it happens a lot. Girls are being discarded because she’s been eating a lot.

But it really gets bad when we start looking for someone to date or even marry. We haven’t even got to know the person a lot better but we evade already. I know appearances do matter somehow. However if you’re going to pass up someone whom is courting you just because he isn’t good looking and given attention to the one who is undeniably handsome, then it’s unfair. Why not give equal attention to both parties?

Of course, I also have my physical insecurities. I’m not mister ramp model/actor. Sometimes, I hate looking at the mirror especially when I comb my hair because it’s not bouncy or attractively straight. I always dreamt of being admired without even making an effort. But when I came to think of it, I don’t want to be admired just like that-just mere good looks. I’d always used because it is true.

It’s hard to accept but the guys tend to pass more judgment based on the person’s looks. I maybe prejudiced with my own kind but I see it happens more with the guys than girls. I know because I honestly am like that- “sometimes”. We guys are more visually oriented and I can’t completely understand why. But if we base our opinions of a girls value solely on the way she looks, we are then being deceived. There are tons of women who can get operations from Dr. Vicky Belo, or starve themselves to death, get their hair dyed and so on. Good looking women aren’t hard to find a woman who truly has heart for God. You cannot go out and buy one of those like Happy Meals at Mc Donalds. If we pass up a girl just because she doesn’t fit our standards then we may end up the looser.

But the ladies do this too! If you’re passing guys off just because they cannot gain weight or they can’t burn those fats, or because they can’t play the guitar or paint your self-portrait, then you’re not only being shallow and superficial, but you may be missing out someone great.

I’m tired of seeing this happen, I am tired of catching myself doing it, and I’m tired of having others do it to me. If appearances are what we value in others, then we might end up playing Barbie dolls. If we only love at surface level, we’ll always have loneliness inside because we’ll never learn to connect with others on a deeper level. The heart sees what the eyes don’t.

I’m not just talking about the way we judge others. Learning to love also means learning to accept ourselves just as we are. If you’re black, then don’t waste money buying all those whitening products and spraying your hair with countless ironing just to get the Lucy Liu hairdo. We have our own edge. We just have to recognize it. I think, rather than being all blue about something we don’t have or we are not. Let’s just be thankful for what we were given and try to enhance it-without any surgeries.

It’s not the end of the world if you’re called Mister Big Nose at school, or you have curly hair because those insecurities sometimes mold you into a better person. Believe me, we need to value our contents as well as our cover and work to be beautiful on the inside as well as on the outside.

After all, the person inside me is the person that God loves. He judges our lives by the book, not by the cover.

Those stars that shine the brightest amongst others are like those people who value the contents rather than just the covers.

Close It

Whoever said that loving is sharing sure did not mean sharing boyfriends and girlfriends in mind. For that would be the most crooked reasoning ever.

Given that in out generation, ladies and gentlemen, are patronizing liberal thinking, open relationship is already a common case among young lovers. This denotes a relationship in which partners agree to date other prospects while they are not yet married. Although our conservative society strongly disapproves of this practice among women, men on the other hand are almost given special treatment by forgiving them if they are guilty of having a multiple partners at the same time. This, they say, is because man is polygamous by nature. Therefore, it is acceptable that they could love another, while being committed to the other.

However, I stand that this should not be the case at all.

Live for the present. For we are now jamming to the music of the new millennium, we should take that as a cue that gone are the old days.

Now you might just argue that we are not talking about married people here. On fact, not just yet. But remember, a man who got used to smoking, even if he got “over” with it, he would surely light a cigarette occasionally for pleasure. What the man was so used to do when he was not yet married is what he would practice even after he ties the knot with his bride. The point is, so that a man would not be tempted of having other women aside from his wife in the future, he should be forbidden of having other girlfriends aside from his partner as early as steady days.

Collect, collect and then select. To some, or perhaps, to many liberated young men, this could be the most practical way of looking for the best girlfriend. They court and date two, three, or more ladies at the same time, and apparently choose who among those ladies satisfies them most – the nerve of these males’ chauvinist pigs! What is this, an audition? By doing this practice, men are being ignorant of the consequence of their action. Ironically, they do not realize that while they are enjoying yet another superficial habit, they lose three of the most important things of their manhood: dignity, mystery and true love.

First, we discuss dignity. A man who practices infidelity is never worthy of honor – for ha does not have the strength to fight temptations. Therefore, he is nothing but a weakling. Second, when you go date a couple of “chicks” around a small world, you hastily throw your magnetic appeal away, because you are now considered “just one of the guys”, nothing special. On being public, you waste every inch of mystery in you. Lastly, while having numerous girlfriends, a man would more likely than not, have misconceptions as to whether he is really in love, or just into a romantic fantasy in a particular relationship. So, that when the time comes that he has to choose, physical pleasures oust emotional feelings from ruling, and unfortunately, he loses the ability to identify what is true love. Blimmey, but it is never a practical way if you lose more than you could afford. And besides, how practical is this when in fact you only waste time and effort (not to mention money) in working with relationships, which do not have a future anyway? Save.

Finally, this is not an issue of equality between man and women anymore. But this is an issue about commitment. You see, when you commit yourself to a relationship, you devote your love to that one person alone. But if you venture to other romance other than your partner’s, then you are not truly committed. And if there is no commitment, there is no point to the relationship – for what is there for both of you to work for?

So close it, and consider thinking from now on.

On Being Dumb

“Have you heard of the latest news? Jenny gave birth the other day!”

“Really? I haven’t heard about that. So, was it a boy or a girl?”

“A boy! He is so like his father, John. And yes, you should have seen John. He was so happy. As a matter of fact he was leaping for joy a minute ago in the classroom.”

“Good luck to them. I hope their happiness would last long. It isn’t easy to be a parent, a young parent at that age.”

Is the dialogue above an all-too-familiar scenario that happened maybe to a neighbor, a bestfriend or a high school classmate you haven’t seen since graduation?

Who would ever want a family when the only problem you seem to know at this very point of your life is how to convince your mommy or daddy to have an increase in your allowance in order for you to survive a week-long of lakwatsas? It’s like picking up a stone to shit your own head.

As a teenager myself, I would never deny of experiencing such scenario, when I seem to want to succumb to that moment, thinking nothing undesirable would happen. It is a normal thing, isn’t it? Sexual instinct is very human especially to us teenagers, for we are greatly swayed by our emotions at this age of our life.

But the question is, DO WE REALLY HAVE TO BE DUMB?

Why? Because, my goodness, you can always delay that urge to quickly buy a ten-peso TRUST classic condom (strawberry or chocolate?)! You can always be afraid, afraid to get a sexually transmitted disease or be afraid to commit sin (as what the church preaches) in engaging in pre-marital sex. Or can always bring back your senses and be sensible! Remember that you really don’t have to do this. It isn’t time yet. You are not yet prepared.

I tell you, a spur of the moment when not properly handled can lead to things that are beyond our capabilities. You just think of the consequences when you get there: to abort the child and let your conscience take the guilt for as long as you live or let it be and prepare your self to the things that even your mama and papa haven’t fully mastered yet-parenthood.

Everything comes down to this: it is just a burst of mixed emotions, of which most of them are uncontrolled, happening at a time when we think of ourselves as invincible, ready to face anything but we have to restrain ourselves. The effects are greater in magnitude than benefits derived from the process (that is, sexual activity).

That is so true. But again, we don’t have to be dumb. We usually hear them say when news of an obvious unwanted pregnancy break: “Tangaa pu uy! Wa man nagbantay!” That’s it! We don’t have to be dumb, dili ta kinahanglan magtinanga!

So, when you feel like doing it, please my friend, think, think and think. Think of it a hundred times, if not enough, a million times. You have choices, and one of them is for you not to be dumb.

I Want Freedom

Being stuck in this world without the mind of my own, like a body without a spirit. That's what I'm feeling right now. Seems like I'm tied over my parents’ legs. I don't have the life of my own. This is so unfair. Why do I always do what they want me to do and just let me forget about the things I want to do for my own? In every decision I make, their always apart of it. They just don't know how many times in my life when I lost out so many things because they refused me to seize the moment. I could go farther. When could I have my own life? I want it now. I just wanted to find my self, and let my own thinking decide for itself. Is it wrong to spread my wings and let the wind blow me to it's direction, and see where life takes me. I'm fed up with their words. They keep on saying "Don't" to me like: "don't eat ice cream, don't drink soda, don't get wet under the rain, don't shout and dance etc.. wanted to tell them, "When will you allow me to be a person with my own life? Are you not stealing my childhood from me?" As a young one I know that I still need their parental guidance, but the way they are dealing it is so mean. Being parents have limitations, it doesn't mean that they can rule over our lives and let us do things what they want us to do. They are there for guidance not to judge us. I want to have space. I want to be somebody in this world who is capable of living with my own will. I wanted to prove to them that I could live my own life without them. And there are so many things I wanted to tell them, the problem is that, I don't have the guts. I'm afraid that after the things I will be saying my world might be different and instead of having what I want I might have the worst problem. I have so many things I want to do in life, I wanted to save and make every moment of it and worth reminiscing for. If only given the freedom to do what I want and to choose what I need. Sometimes a thought came to my mind. What's the use of being born in this world if everything I want to do can't be done? Wish I were not born. Life is indeed useless if it is not me who’s going to put the colors in it.We, young ones have lost out several opportunities because parents were over cautious, scared or just plain timid. Some job seekers did not get jobs because their parents were not willing to let them venture into the unknown. Some wanted to be sent to other places because they want to move out of their comfort zones. Their parents must let us seize the moment, allow us to go through a lot of hardships, let us overcome it and tomorrow, you'll see. We'll be enjoying the fruits of our own labor in comfort.Let us live today! Tomorrow is still far away and Dame Opportunity comes knocking only ones! So let us walk in the rain, skip rope until we still can. One day, we may no longer be able to do those things. Imagine the wonderful memories we will gather.

Regrets

In life we must not hold the person close to us so tight so when God takes it back we won't be hurt that much. But in some cases we are not strong enough the urge, not to love them. Eventually we will fall. And the hardest part here is no one bothers to catch you and instead seeing them catching someone else while we are falling. There are different situations where it comes to loving and mine is something you should not follow. This big thing started when a simple guy courted me. At that time I was in a need of a boyfriend. So, without second thoughts I'm he's, and he's mine. I thought everything would work out just fine, but as days started to went by, I started to hate his presence. And wish that I have never allowed him to be apart of me. I wanted to go back the way it was before, SINGLE. where at that point I don't have to worry about anyone, and have no obligations. I can't imagine my self with him on the incoming days. It makes me want to vomit. I want to cry, cause I have made the wrong decision. i want to scream my heart out and tell the whole world how stupid I am to be a part of such a thing. What I am feeling right now is so weird. I don't understand. I wanted to break-up with him as soon as possible. I can not stay any longer. I can't fake what I feel. I can't sense anything for him. I wanted to escape from this. I am trapped!!I don't know what I should feel now, should I be happy? sad? or what? I am finally free, yeah! I am free from him. And now I must now learn to live my life without him. Though my conscience is bothering me. But I guess that, what I did was right. It is better for both of us so we won't be hurting each other, than pretending and playing a fool with my feelings for him. I wont hurt him more this way.I thought everything was over. But then, life without him isn’t the same like before. And before I knew, I had fallen in love with him. I want him back. I never thought that a guy like him could make this big impact in my life.

I Still Love Him

Looking at the darkness. Hearing nothing but lies. Sensing every bit of pain, and a mind that thinks nothing, but him. That’s how I’m going right now. Many questions are bottled up inside me. Hoping to have a answer. Why did I love him? Why aren’t we meant to be? Why can’t I have him? Why does love continue even if the person hurt you so? Why does love grow more and more each day when you already let the person go? Not a single reply I’ve got.

Time went by so swiftly. I don’t remember how these things happen. The last thing I knew was that I’m crazy over my third boyfriend and now I just broke up with my fourth boyfriend. Ouch! It really does pains me remembering the happy memories both of us shared we’re simply memories, Memories that I can’t help but think about. And something I can’t have back.

It was going so well for both of us. Everything seems to be perfect. During those times, I never wished for more. I think he was the best guy in the world. I thank God for crossing our paths. I don’t want to lose him though I haven’t met him yet. Our relationship is only through text. Did tell you? Big deal. I have this weird feeling towards him. Something I can’t explain. I don’t know what charisma he got that makes me wanting him.

He seems so different with the other guys I’ve been with before. Honestly, this is the only relationship that I swear to my self that I will work with seriously. This time I would try my best to make things work. Now, I’m willing to take all risk for him. I will hand him down anything he wanted as long as I can. I want this relationship to last.

But not too long one text. My world sank. He wanted a break up. I asked him “what’s wrong”. He refused to answer my question. I’m confused then, I felt so stupid. I wanted to clear things up with him. I called him. He answered it, and without letting me speak he said “Naa ko lain uyab.bye”. He ended the call. Wow! Was that easy for him to tell me such things? I couldn’t believe that he was using me all this time. He made a fool of me. I don’t want to believe that it’s over between the two of us.

I was praying the whole night, hoping that this is not the end. Or probably this is just a dream and soon I will wake up...But unfortunately, it’s not, and will never be. I don’t know what to do. I wanted to go after him and tell him I won’t let him go… Because I want him… Because I need him… Because I love him! I wanted to hug him and feel he’s heartbeat next to mine. Oh God, is this a punishment or something? I wanted to blame God for all of this things. Why did he He let us meet and worst made me fall for him. If by chance He would take him away from me. Is there a reason? Lesson for this? I think NONE! SHIT!

Why now? Now, that I am willing to fight for my love. Now, when I’m willing to risk everything. Now, that I’m desperate to do things just for him. Now, that I’m trying to make things work. Now, that I’m strong enough to continue this. Now, that I deal with this things seriously and devotedly… He dumped me! It’s not easy being this way, tormented, crushed!

It hurts so much. I can’t even cry cause it can’t justify the pain I’m into right now, I don’t want to move, I just want to stay in bed, hug my pillow and close my eyes. Hoping that when I open them again this aching are gone. I wanted to see him even from a far. Make believe he’s mine.

The days that follow we’re the saddest days of my life. How my heartaches when I see him walk with his new girl by his side, there’s a feeling inside me want to grab her away from her. How it hurts somebody else now owns the see the guy I longed possessed. That special smile I long for him to cast on me is now casted on her. As he passed by me he doesn’t know that I whispered the words “I will still love you”.

I’m starting to hate my self now, because after all the hurts he had made me feel, I’m still numb and still and will always be longing for him.

I just loved him, was it wrong? Or did I just love him so much? I want him back not wanting to let go. Is it my fault if it’s him that I’m looking for? Certainly not! If only I could teach this god damn heart of mine not to love him.. I’ve done it.

All I want now is just one more chance. Or maybe just one more day that he could be my baby again. I will give him all the reason to love me. And prove to him, I am worth the chance.

Now that saying I LOVE YOU might be to late, still I want him to know that I will always love him and my heart has always been and will always been and will always be he’s alone.

We can’t beg someone to stay if they want to leave and be with someone else, if they really love us, even if how many times you’ve hurt them they will surely stay. We have to admit that love doesn’t give us the license to own someone, this is what love means. Sacrifice.