Regrets

In life we must not hold the person close to us so tight so when God takes it back we won't be hurt that much. But in some cases we are not strong enough the urge, not to love them. Eventually we will fall. And the hardest part here is no one bothers to catch you and instead seeing them catching someone else while we are falling. There are different situations where it comes to loving and mine is something you should not follow. This big thing started when a simple guy courted me. At that time I was in a need of a boyfriend. So, without second thoughts I'm he's, and he's mine. I thought everything would work out just fine, but as days started to went by, I started to hate his presence. And wish that I have never allowed him to be apart of me. I wanted to go back the way it was before, SINGLE. where at that point I don't have to worry about anyone, and have no obligations. I can't imagine my self with him on the incoming days. It makes me want to vomit. I want to cry, cause I have made the wrong decision. i want to scream my heart out and tell the whole world how stupid I am to be a part of such a thing. What I am feeling right now is so weird. I don't understand. I wanted to break-up with him as soon as possible. I can not stay any longer. I can't fake what I feel. I can't sense anything for him. I wanted to escape from this. I am trapped!!I don't know what I should feel now, should I be happy? sad? or what? I am finally free, yeah! I am free from him. And now I must now learn to live my life without him. Though my conscience is bothering me. But I guess that, what I did was right. It is better for both of us so we won't be hurting each other, than pretending and playing a fool with my feelings for him. I wont hurt him more this way.I thought everything was over. But then, life without him isn’t the same like before. And before I knew, I had fallen in love with him. I want him back. I never thought that a guy like him could make this big impact in my life.